frequently asked questions

Can I take my Gimpling® out in public?

Why, certainly! In most everyday situations strangers will mistake your Gimpling® for a normal human. At raves, for example, your Gimpling will blend right in and be very hard to spot as "special". Take a look at the picture on the left - can YOU spot the difference?

In more complex social situations, the lack of verbal response to questions or prompts may lead people to assume your Gimpling® is a severely retarded, but otherwise normal, human. (It's the one in the red, by the way.)

Will my Gimpling® let other people have sex with it?

Not in most normal circumstances, no. During the behavioural conditioning phase of the Gimpification® process, your unique pheremonal odor and facial appearance are imprinted on your Gimpling®'s brain stem, such that it will have a close and unique bond with you. You may of course design your custom behavioural spec to predispose your Gimpling® to group / stranger sex, though, if you so desire.

Can my Gimpling® get pregnant / make me pregnant?

Sterilization is a part of our standard Gimpification® process, and we strongly encourage new owners to include this procedure in their own custom spec. So, in the vast majority of cases, the answer is no.

Can my Gimpling® give me an STD?

Absolutely not! Our human stock is rigourously screened for all known STDs, and we ship our product 100% disease free and HIV negative. So long as you do not allow your Gimpling® to practice unsafe sex with others, you can be certain that sex with your Gimpling® is the safest sex there is.

Isn't it wrong to sacrifice a human being, even a poor one from the developing world, just so a rich Westerner can have an expensive sex toy?

By decree 1338 - 7 of the Ukranian parliament the Gimpification® process is now recognised as a legal medical procedure. All humans who undergo Gimpification® sign a series of informed consent documents which we keep on record at our Dniepropetrovsk headquarters for ten years.

A Gimpling® living in the west has a higher standard of living, a better diet, and a higher life expectancy than a human living in any of the countries that we procure stock from. Although unable to experience the full range of complex human emotions, EKG and MRI scans show that a Gimpling® is in most normal circumstances happy and content.

At Gimpling Labs, providing our clients the best sex that money can buy is job one - since 2006