The BELGIAN ANTI DEFAMATION INSTITUTE

established 2006

WHO WE ARE

As a right thinking Liberal Democrat, I'm sick and tired of the Belgian race getting a bum rap. Sexism, homophobism, and racism have all been crushed and annhiliated in modern Western culture, and yet not a day goes by that I don't hear someone slamming Belgium and the Belgians. Feeling that it was time some brave soul stood up for what was right, I've gathered a team of like-minded zealots and thought police, and created the Belgian Anti-defamation Institute.

OUR PURPOSE

How much of our stereotypical picture of the Belgian race has a grounding in fact? How much is just ugly racism and slander?

We're all familiar with the portrayal of Belgians in the media and pop culture: Belgians are slow and dirty; Belgians can't see in the dark; Belgians are good dancers. How can we as responsible Liberal Democrats be certain that these portrayals are accurate? In today's world, with such a vast wealth of information only a click away on the Internet, we can now look at the Belgian stereotype objectively, with all the facts in front of us.

THE STEREOTYPES and THE FACTS

1. BELGIANS MAKE GOOD BEER

Our research has shown that this stereotype is:

+TRUE

There are many Internet sources that help confirm this fact:

It should be noted, however, that Belgian brewers and bottlers are also notorious for health and safety violations:

2. BELGIANS ARE GOOD DANCERS

Our research has shown that this stereotype is:

-FALSE

We are all familiar with the complicated routines of Belgian folk dancing troupes such as Spinnend van Idioten and Les Amants des Soeurs Ghentien. But is this proof that Belgians have a strong sense of rhythm, and can perform complicated steps in time to music?

In fact most Belgian dancing is a carefully constructed illusion. Before we see the polished final product, trainers must work with their Belgians for years on end. These specially bred Belgians are encouraged through behavioural modification techniques to perform the movements required, and only after they have mastered the movements are their routines set to music. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, the orchestra is actually playing in time to the steps of the dancers, and not vice versa!

The international success of Michele Anne de Mey is often used to support the blanket assertion that Belgians as a whole are good dancers. Notice, though, that Michele is actually only 1/2 Belgian, and he himself has claimed in numerous interviews that all of his talent comes from the Albanian side of his family.

3. BELGIANS HAVE POOR PERSONAL HYGIENE

Our research has shown that this stereotype is:

OPEN TO DEBATE / PARTIALLY TRUE

We're all had first hand run-ins with smelly Belgian cab drivers and unkempt Belgian street people. And who can forget the tragic, rotting, toothless "Belgian smile"? But how do Belgians rank when compared with other Europeans? Are they really as foul and putrid as they usually seem to be?

Based on the most recent EU statistics, Belgium ranked as follows:

Hygiene Category European Ranking Mean Avg.
Washing (bidet / sink only) 15th of 25 4.6 times / month
Bathing / showering (whole body) 16th of 21* 2.2 times / month
Oral hygiene (brushing) 24th of 25 1.8 times / week
Oral hygiene (flossing) 22nd of 25 0.2 times / month
Changing underclothes 18th of 21* 1.4 times / week

*2005 data unavailable for Austria, Germany, Luxembourg and Poland

On balance Belgians are somewhat less clean than most other Europeans, but not markedly so. And yet, when was the last time you heard the term "reeking like a Swede on church day" or "dirty as a Frenchman"?

If we are going to continue to call Belgians smelly and dirty, it's only fair in light of the available data to extend this stereotype to include all Europeans.

4. BELGIANS ARE GOOD AT MATH

Our research has shown that this stereotype is:

+TRUE

5. BELGIANS ARE UNTRUSTWORTHY / BELGIANS ARE DISHONEST IN MONEY MATTERS

Our research has shown that this stereotype is:

+TRUE

6. BELGIAN MEN HAVE SHORT PENISES

Our research has shown that this stereotype is:

OPEN TO DEBATE / PARTIALLY TRUE

According to a recent WHO survey, Belgian men's average penis size is 5.3 cm in length. Although at the low end of the scale, this size is well within one standard deviation when looking at worldwide human variation in penis length.

So although Belgian men do tend to have short penises, they are not freakishly small. Why then the continuing popularity of the insult "hung like a Belgian"?

7. BELGIANS ARE RETARDED DUE TO HEAVY INBREEDING

Our research has shown that this stereotype is:

-FALSE

The high level of mental retardation within the Belgian race is entirely attributable to environmental rather than genetic factors, as these recent articles indicate:

As for the claims of inbreeding, recent statistics show that incest is on the decline in Belgium , albeit falling from freakishly high initial levels. Of all children born in Belgium today, only 5 - 8% are now born of parents who are themselves closely genetically related (first cousins or closer). Given rates as high as 15% in the 1980s it is understandable how this myth was started, but today it is entirely groundless. It's time to put the "Belgian cousin" jokes to rest once and for all!

8. BELGIANS CANNOT SEE IN THE DARK

Our research has shown that this stereotype is:

-FALSE

"Blind as a Belgian at night"

This myth does have some basis in historical fact. But again, the blame is not with the Belgians as a race but with their poor diet and the hazardous and unsanitary environment they inhabit.

On a purely anecdotal level, it's well known from those living near Belgian communities abroad that although the first generation immigrants all wear thick glasses, their children tend to walk fully upright and do not need as much corrective eyewear.

9. BELGIANS ARE SHITTY LOVERS

Our in-depth studies have shown that this stereotype is:

OPEN TO DEBATE / PARTIALLY TRUE

In sexual satisfaction surveys Belgians consistently score within the bottom 10% in world rankings.

However, a number of researchers have raised the following objections to the survey methodology, bringing these results into question:

10. BELGIANS EAT JEWISH CHILDREN

Our research has shown that this stereotype is:

-FALSE

Although there is a long tradition of ritual slaughter and consumption of Jewish children in Belgian folklore, our studies show that this form of cannibalism has not been practiced in Belgium since the early 1960s at the latest.

The last confirmed case of Belgians killing and eating Jewish children in public was witnessed by the anthropologist Maria diMonticello in the village of Verviers in 1963. She provides a detailed first person account of the incident in her book In the Dark with the Belgians.

The famous Theilemanns trial of 1975 is often brought up by people who want to lend creedence to the stereotype. What is often left out of the story is that M. Theilemanns was not found guilty of the main charges brought against him, and that DNA analysis of the bones and other remains was never conducted.

The incidents in Schaerbeek in the summer of 2001 involved children from the Sefer Hasidim- and although they claim to be a branch of Judaism, they are not recognized by any of the Orthodox Jewish movements as such. Yes, this was confirmed cannibalism. Yes, the victims were all children. Yes, the perpetrators were Belgian nationals. But in a strict technical and legal sense this cannot be taken as an example of Belgian Jewish child cannibalism.

The world famous Belgische Judentort no longer contains the meat of ritually slaughtered Jewish children, and hasn't since the late 19th century. All of the meat in commercially produced Belgische Judentort is from Jews who have died from natural causes and Jewish organ donors.

CONCLUSIONS

The overall accuracy of the Belgian stereotype is 4.5/10, or 45%. Given that this is only slightly less than even chance, the Belgian Anti-defamation Institute recommends that the stereotypical view of Belgians continue to be disseminated, as there is no real harm done.

WHAT YOU CAN and SHOULD DO NOW

Don't just take what we say at face value! Explore the links to our sources, and think for yourself.

Then look deep into your heart and soul. Everyone is an anti-Belgian racist, some are just too ignorant or evil to admit it, even to themselves. Consider your own anti-Belgian racism, understand that you are wrong, and re-form your thoughts and opinions to conform with those presented on this website.

Even more importantly, share what you learn about the Belgian race with friends and family! We can only break down prejudices and stereotypes when we as individuals are willing to confront those people who still think it's OK to hate and shun the Belgians.

And, most importantly of all, put your money where your mouth is! Click the donate button on this page to show that you are a right thinker, and help support our efforts to detroy anti-Belgian thought wherever it exists.

 

 

What is this strange place? My name is Thomas Edward Topham, and I am the Chairman of the Institute.





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Belgians Around The World

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