After spending my elementary school years in Surrey, B.C., the family decided it was time to move up in the world, to the posh neighboring suburb of Delta. We moved to a fancy new house with a loft and cedar planks in the ceiling and I went to a new school for my last grade before high school. Being the new guy in grade seven, and showing up a couple weeks late for the start of the school year, and being in a special "advanced" stream, all helped to turn me into the introspective and self-centered freak I am today - Heath Elementary School, thank you for nudging me towards who I now am.
And just like every normal Canadian family, things started to unravel, and before the end of the school year it was divorce time. The house was sold and we moved away - my mom to an apartment downtown, me and my dad to North Vancouver. I never saw any of these people again.
Even at the time, I hardly had the chance to get to know my classmates. Add to that the years of narcotics appreciation since then, and the normal erosion brought by time, and the memories are few and far between; now these people are nothing to me but a bunch of random whoevers. So I figure it's a good idea to mock and slander them on the Internet.
Like 12 year olds all over the world, they are pretty dorky, but given their location in space-time, Delta / British Columbia / 1979, the dorkiness factor is magnified exponentially.