Welcome, friend, to the official website for the Church of Good News for Liberal Democracy.
Do you need answers to questions like:
- Why am I alive?
- How can I find happiness?
- Can I ever find true love?
- Is there a God?
- Is there a purpose for me?
- What should I do with all my money?
- Where do babies come from?
- Do these pants make my ass look too big?
If truth, enlightenment, and ultimate happiness is what you crave, friend, then you are in the right place. The answers are all here, waiting for you.
If you do not need the answers to any of these questions, or have otherwise arrived at this page by mistake, you can access the rest of the Internet from here.
Executive Summary: Good News!
Full text: Liberal Democracy is not dead yet, not dead until I say so - that's what makes my personal survival, and the expansion of the cult, so crucial. Hunter S. Thompson gave up too soon, there is still a chance, an excellent chance. High water mark? He had no idea what he was talking about, and obviously never made the effort to find out all the good news about Liberal Democracy.
Franz Kafka is still alive, chained up in my crawlspace. Stanislaw Witkiewicz died for the sins of the twentieth century, so you don't have to. Facism and Communism lost, and Liberal Democracy can still win.
Moratorium on suicides - eternal life through text, drugs, and pornography. Ethnic cleansing no longer fashionable - watch this space for details.
The volume of good news I have for you is potentially infinite.
Don't be frightened, friend, you are safe here. There is absolutely nothing you need to be ashamed of, and I love you unconditionally.
Our Church Goals
- to promote and defend Liberal Democracy here and now
- to spread the good news about Liberal Democracy, and to decrease bogon flux, through propagandandizing, mobilizing the masses, the propogation of Liberal Democratic texts and links, giving personal witness, etc.
- to increase the positive energy flux in the Big Room
- to increase the positive energy flux on the Internet
Our Leader's Goals
- to travel extensively throughout the word, always fighting for the forces of light and good
- to have non exploitative sex with women, as frequently as possible
- where legal, to use moderate and reasonable quantities of alcohol, cannabis, and psychedellic / psychoactive drugs
- to build, manage, and exploit the Church of Good News for Liberal Democracy
- self aggrandisement, fame, power over others, financial security
Our Modus Operandi
- Helping people
- Saving the planet through advocacy and direct action
- Watching television, all the time
- Surfing the internet, all the time
- Using pirated software and media content
- Stealing, lying, and spreading rumours
- Throwing acid into children's faces
- Spreading syphillis and typhoid
What you should do now:
- Trip out / mellow out
- Hang loose
- Watch more television
- Continue to surf the internet
- Feel free to masturbate (optional)
- Smoke 'em if you got 'em